Switching, to put it simply, is someone who has traits, desires, and kinks that fall on both sides of the BDSM exchange of power. This poses a unique set of needs and considerations that goes much deeper than simply researching Dominance and submission as separate topics. It is the constant shift and balance that brings [...]
I distinctly remember typing "how to be a good submissive" into my google search bar and was frustrated at the vague or sexually based responses I kept stumbling upon. I felt like there was some elusive secret or checklist that if I kept reading I would eventually find and viewed submission as one size fits all. Ive known from the beginning I wanted to bring y'all real and tangible advice to help you feel like you are improving your submission, but without perpetuating the false beliefs I once held of one specific set of rules to be considered "good" within this lifestyle. Your submission is unique to you and that's what makes it such a beautiful and intimate gift to share with the right Dominant.
Whether you are familiar with BDSM or not, chances are you've heard of "safe words" in some sort of conversation, movie, blog, etc. And while this post's intention is to educate you on what a safe word is, most importantly I want to teach you when and how to use them the right way. Having a safe word is no better than having a car that doesn't start if you don't feel confident and comfortable using them when a situation or scene begins to shift to a place that makes you feel unsafe, begins to approach your hard limits or if you are just plain not into it anymore. And spoiler alert: Dominants, this blog is for you, too.
The sound of metal on metal hits her ears as the key slides inside the front door. A slight smile crosses her lips as she hooks her manicured fingers into the waistband of her lace boy shorts, sliding them down her hips, draping them over the key rack. Quickly she runs to His office and crawls under the large oak desk, careful not the disturb anything else that belongs to Him. Pulling the leather chair back in its place, she all but holds her breath, willing her heart to stop beating quite so loud.
As much as I would love to write a post about how to avoid sub drop, in my personal opinion, that's an unrealistic goal for submissives and Dominants alike. With great highs come great lows and the goal of this blog is rather to explain what is is, why it happens and what we can do to work through it.
For a change of pace, I thought it would be fun to sit down with B to provide some insight to Dominance in a more raw and unfiltered format for you all. Keep in mind that B is my favorite Dominant on the planet, but if His answers differ from yours that's completely okay. Variety is the spice of life, y'all and Dominants and submissives alike come in all different shapes, sizes and kinks.
If I'm being honest, I spent an embarrassing amount of time choosing the featured image for this blog. I didn't know exactly what image I was searching for but I knew for damn sure I was not about to perpetuate the image of a Dominant being a well dressed man in a three piece suit. Dominants, possibly even more than submissives, have been forced into this one size fits all box and I am here to tell you that Dominants come in all shapes, genders, socioeconomic levels and kinks. In summary, much like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Dominance is in the eye of the submissive. When you care for and guide your submissive, you are the perfect definition of a Dominant- even you don't own a suit.
I thought I would continue our BDSM basics series by digging in a little deeper about what a submissive is and the different submissive roles within the BDSM community. Submissives choose to give up control to their Dominant within the BDSM dynamic. Submission is a gift, and one that should not be given lightly as [...]
Routines. We all have them whether we realize it or not. As people, we tend to become creatures of habit and develop patterns in the way we live our lives. This can be detrimental if those habits include mac n cheese, binging Netflix and spending too much time comparing ourselves to strangers in our instagram [...]
We are switching gears today to some of my absolute favorite topics: mental health, self care and submission. This is the start of a new series I will be weaving into the blog that encourages you to make sure you're taking care of yourself, especially with the current state of our country. Between pandemics, staying [...]