Having briefly mentioned edge play in my primal post, I figured it deserved a blog of its very own. Edge play is a term used to encompass a variety of kinks and activities within the BDSM community that lay at the edge of what can be considered safe, sane, and consensual. In these situations, we need to switch into a mindset of risk aware consensual kink, or RACK for short. I warned y’all how much I love a good acronym.
Some examples of edge play include breath play, fear play, knife play, gun play, fire play, and even wax play. This is not an all encompassing list of all things edge play, but for the purposes of this blog, we are going to focus on only the most common. All of these activities carry risks of short term, or even long term, physical or emotional damage- especially if both parties are not well educated on what they are doing. You should never, and I mean never, explore a new area of edge play without doing significant research as both the Dominant and submissive. Knife play isn’t something you add into a play on a whim because it sounds fun. Spontaneity is only fun when it’s safe. This ties into the risk aware portion of rack- it’s okay to take risks but both parties need to be fully informed of what those risks are and how to avoid them- this is a crucial part to consent in this sort of scene.
Here’s an example outside of the kink community that may help break RACK down for you a little further. Imagine you’re getting surgery and the physician walks in to get your consents signed. Is it okay if you just took pain medicine or can he have you sign the forms while you’re sleeping? No. Sleeping or impaired patients can not consent. Is it enough for you to know you’re just getting surgery? No. You have to be informed on what the surgery is, how long it will take, what are the risks associated with it and what the recovery options are at the very least. You also may want to know how often your surgeon performs this procedure, what is his success rate, or if there are any non-surgical options available. You may research the procedure on your own or read reviews left about the facility or surgeon. Why do we do these things in most medical settings? Because you are trusting this surgeon with your life and health. This is the same thing for edge play. You are quite literally trusting your partner with your health, safety, and in some cases, life.
Have I scared you yet?
While my only intention is to educate, not to scare you, a healthy fear of edge play is exactly what all BDSM participants need to have in order to make sure they are safe and risk aware. This is one of the times that reading an article is not even remotely enough to be considered proficient and hands on training under an expert is needed before you got out and try it on your own. But now that we’ve got that out of the way….
Edge play when done right can be delicious and is something I am exploring within my submissive journey.
Fire play and gun play are hard limits for me and therefore I have no experience with them. Other items, such as breath play and knife play, are on the table but only after having an in-depth conversation about what I am comfortable with during a scene. So although breath play is on the table, passing out from breath play or having something covering my entire head to cut off my breathing is not. Wax play is high up on my submission bucket list, so hopefully that’ll be a delicious new post for y’all in the near future. For me, an adrenaline rush during the scene and the deep level of trust required during edge play is incredibly alluring.
Although I am relatively new to the lifestyle, B has also been a Dominant for 25 years and trained under an experienced Dom/Domme couple when He was first starting out- prior to ever taking a submissive of His own. He has done His research, has had hands on practice under mentors and the kink community, and still has a very healthy respect for edge play. There are aspects he refuses to participate in because He is not confident in His ability to keep L & I safe, so things such as fire play are on His limits as well.
This is just a little intro into what it edge play is, and please please please do your homework. Have fun out there, but always remember that your safety is more important than any scene.